Cumulus
by heartsans
Summary: Philosophical questioning is something that Ulquiorra sometimes indulges in, though he would never admit it. a little ooc


(Bleach is not mine.)

**Cumulus**

Human hearts were the size of a curled fist, a rudimentary mechanism that pumped fluid and life into weak flesh. A far cry from the cartoon renditions of two red teardrops forming a symmetrical whole- whoever conjured up that representation was probably a moron. What of the ventricles? The valves? The processes, the clogs, the messy and ridiculous sum of parts?

In his opinion, the human machine and its winding guts were poorly made, without a doubt. The entrance to the lungs was too close to the entrance to the stomach, making choking a far too frequent reality, especially in small children. Skin that easily rips, temperature that was difficult to regulate- it was downright pathetic. At least animals were able to specialize. Wings for the birds, strong legs for the beasts of burden, gills for the fish underwater. But humans; they lived everywhere and came up with solutions that tore apart all other species in the surrounding area, the world so close to being a carved out chicken corpse thanks to their doing. Soon enough, their feast on the land would be over- the interference by his kind was merely speeding up the process.

Ulquiorra was more than capable of taking an educated guess as to why his master viewed them all as trash.

But.

While he was not one to question orders, he questioned other things to himself that he knew would not get any answers. Typical philosophical sentiments, a few scientific inquiries that he did not have time to research- why was the sky blue anyway? What did those children he overheard by chance mean by the life cycles of stars? What was the ultimate purpose of the soul?

Aizen birthed his soldiers, and they had a purpose that was made for them, just as shinigamis had their own purpose, just as humans who eat, sleep, excrete and die often think they have a purpose behind motions of sleep, work, and sex. Purpose is the mother of action, and without purpose there is little else worth doing. And this one question now burned in Ulquiorra's mind- when his master is finished with his work, what purpose will he have left? He would, in essence, be trash as well, and this was not something he liked to think about.

Perhaps he could run after the moment of victory- run somewhere. Anywhere. Of course Aizen would not off his children right away, and being a man who enjoyed games, would also keep them for a while, like toys in a shelf that a growing child would leave and sometimes look at. But just as he exiled and/or killed the Privaron Espada, surely a similar fate would be handed out to him once the man got bored.

Loyalty remained in him, however. It was just one of those things he could not program himself out of, and in fact was afraid to try to erase. Seeds of doubt had already buried themselves in his soil, though, and he could only hope to bite them in the bud should they choose to fully flower.

On the topic of flowers, it was time to check up on that woman again.

-

She was eating now, which was good, though her hands trembled. Usually the moment she picked up a utensil he would take the cue to leave her, but it felt right for him to linger a moment longer. Her fear was visible, stirring many things in him that were difficult to understand.

Ask her why the sky is blue, a voice told him mischievously, which surprised- no, unnerved him. Where did that come from?

It was clear that the woman was trying her best not to make eye contact with him, but the temptation was too great, and he found her eyes greeting his own, her expression a mishmash of fear and confusion.

Sometimes she mentioned hearts, sometimes in her sleep, murmuring (for he would enter her room late at night whenever he thought it proper or amusing). It would be good, he thought, to ask about it later, for clearly the heart she spoke of was neither the bloody fist nor the two teardrops. Strange, how the latter picture looked almost proper now. The soft edge of the top of the heart, the sharpened cut at the bottom. Surely hearts sting.

"Why are you still here?" her voice was shaking, cracking, grieving.

A pause. He thought of Aizen, he thought of downfall, he thought of his inevitable end.

You only live once, a human would say.

"Do you know why the sky is blue?"

-

End

_(For those who would like to know, the sky is blue because light travels in long and short wavelengths, and when sunlight enters our atmosphere it scatters all light, but blue and violet have the shortest wavelength and therefore are scattered more. Our eyes are more sensitive to blue light, so that's what we see.)_


End file.
